RAMBLING ON: Politicians or reptiles?

Author's note: This column was originally published in February of 1994. Needless to say, our youngest son is now grown and the reptile in the article has gone to that great reptile round-up in the sky. As we face yet another election year, this seemed worth running by you again. Maybe some of you will be seeing it for the first time. Thanks for visiting, Janice

His name is Rex. He (or maybe she) came to live with us recently. About 18 inches long, Rex has scales and is colored a light green with some brown on his tail. He has gold eyes and likes to hang around on a tree limb in his "apartment", which is complete with a lamp and heat rock.

Have you figured it out yet? The obvious answer could be a snake. It could, but it isn't.

Rex is an iguana. A very handsome (pretty?) iguana. We have learned that the common name for this critter is Green Iguana.

The scientific name is much more complicated. The scientific name is, and I quote, "Iguana Iguana".

Now that's clever. I wish I could give some politicians a few scientific names. Maybe even a few you could print. How about "Idiot Idiot" or maybe "Democrat Democrat"? Was that politically correct? Probably not. Ask me if I care.

Being politically correct, it should be pointed out, is not always the same as being just plain "correct". A person can be right about something and be making a political error.

The biggest error of this year (now 2008) would be electing some folks to office who should never be elected for any office. There are at least one or two I wouldn't even elect as dog catcher! We will just have to call them "Politician Politician". My pastor wouldn't like it if I called them anything else.

An interesting idea just occurred to me. Did you know that iguanas and politicians have a lot in common? Iguanas like to just lie around and soak up some atmosphere. At other times, they can be real sneaky and move like greased lightening and you're never sure which direction they will choose next.

And, finally, you can look an iguana in the eye and you still don't know what he/she is thinking. You've never seen such a poker face or Mona Lisa smile until you have looked at an iguana nose to nose. I know about iguanas and politicians because I live with one; an iguana that is.

Rex isn't running for office. You might find him running for cover, though. I've heard that politicians do that too, on occasion.

Rex is quite a character. He doesn't spend much money and he doesn't take up much space. He isn't famous like a certain purple dinosaur and he has no idea who/what a lobbyist is. But he makes our youngest son happy by just hanging around. The two of them like to sit on the couch and watch cartoons. (So do I, for that matter.)

Given my choice of iguanas or politicians, I'll choose the former.

I will state here, for the record, not all politicians are bad. It's just that the good ones have a hard time getting elected.

So, don't be surprised if you see my car around town sporting a sticker that reads, "Rex for president!"

Until next time, I'll be rambling on.....Miz Grits :)